Reminiscing about kancheepuram

After a gap of about 12 years i visited the city. So much has changed in the temple city. Its the native town of my aathukarars as well mine. Though we were born and brought up here , our parents and their parents were associated with this city.
The city is crowded with more number of one-ways in force, thanks to the likes of NOKIA and SAINT GOBAIN and all the mushrooms in the corridor. The land price has leaped forward from a mere 2 lakhs per ground to 40 lakhs in a decade. All Saravana bhavans and Saravana stores are queuing up to put their foot in the available commercial spaces. Car showrooms and Titan gold showrooms have made their way into the city with the sole aim of capitalising the tourism there.
All cars both big and small are zooming across the city. And regardless of the public transport which is aplenty , unlike chennai, share-autos do brisk business in this city.
Even as i say about the modernization of the city, the city still retains its charm with the ever-popular car-festivals and the Urchavams. Its still a treat to watch the thear and the pallakku of the perumal going around the city and the people thronging alongside to get the blessings of the perumal. And not to mention about the local holiday declared on garuda sevai. People's humanity is at its peak when they offer the home-made thayir sadams and puliodarais with the butter-milk. Living in apartment culture, it was a different experience for me to meet relatives and friends every step and nook and corner on the way to shopping. In my fathers co-operative society , all the staffs thronged to see his daughter, son-in-law and grand-son.Also,it was a new experience for me and my kid watching hundreds of people waiting in the temple grounds with all the kattu-satham and murukku .
But, we were unable to visit the moolavar due to the death of a little boy in the temple tank. That incident, they say is a regular every year. When they say it is a common one, why cant they make necessary arrangements to prevent them. By rather restricting the area after the incidents, they can cordon off the entire area during these festivals. And not to mention the cruelty rendered to the animals especially the elephants. I have this phobia, that is imagining all the ways by which things might go wrong.
Same thing happened with respect to elephants. When i saw the mahout beating the elephant with the sticks i started thinking " What would happen if suddenly the elephant gets mad and runs among the crowd" With the thinking cropping in my mind i started walking out fast with a hand firm on my kids shoulders. I was not able to breathe till the minute i was out of the vicinity of the temple.
The next day, there is this thanga pallakku oorvalam. On that day, the lord is taken around the city in the thanga pallakku and rested in mandapams on the way for few minutes for the people to get darshan. During this procession perumal would rest only in temple mandapams and this is known as "mandagapadi". In the whole city, our home is the only house where mandagapadi takes place in the big thoradu of our house, other than temple mandapam. The story dates back to my great-great-grandfather. He was a ardent perumal fan. And when after few generations they decided to stop the mandagapadi taking place in the house my great-grandfather went and fell on his stomach flatly before the perumal and requested to continue the practice. So till today the mandagapadi continues.
On the whole, it was a rejuvenating experience for me and my kid enjoyed each and every hour spent there.

Results

As I was following the 10th results for my cousin as well for few others my thoughts went back. I was reminiscing the d-day exactly 12 yrs ago.

Today literally my grand mother was chewing her nails and was before the tv to see the timings of the declaration of the results. I donot remember her the same way on that d-day. Still the scene unfolds before me clearly.


I was sleeping late and didnt wake up till 8.00 and suddenly heard my friends voice who had come all the way from velachery to my house to pick me up on the way. So, I went with her. And as i reached the school it was crowded cos in those days we didnt have the internet facility and we should only look for marks in the school notice board. So, when one of my friend told me that i had scored 85 % i was happy. For an above-average student like me it was a gift beautifuly wrapped considering my preparations... Know what i went to the cool romantic HUM APKE HAIN KAUN before my maths exam. Should i call it arrogance or over-confidence or careless towards studies. Whatever it may be i was glad and couldnt express my feelings, since i didnt know the value much.

But when i reached home it all fell flat on my face. There was no one to acknowledge in the least about my ACHIEVEMENT. Though my grandmother was happy she didnt really feel the impact of my CBSE scoring. Comparing with todays scenario its not a big score but that hardly mattered those days.

It was one of the early moments in my life where i really missed having my own family much, though i grew up in a joint family with more than 12 members. Nobody seemed excited nor impressed with my performance. Only when one of my friends mother came with a box of sweet to our next door tuition master did I realise how important the results were to the parents. And when he introduced me to his mother quoting my marks she gave me the sweets praising me this and that.... oh u have got such good marks in CBSE thts too wonderfullll......

It was the first sweet i got that day.....

I felt like laughing when one of my friend complained that her downstairs neighbour never congratulated her. I then thought about my house full of uncles their wives ....

Just reminiscing the past though i feel always its good to recall the good moments rather the bad ones. Sometimes, even the bad ones give you the morale booster for our climb in the ladder. Thats how i give a pat to myself.

It took me about a week to complete this post so the impact has been less.

Dilemma

Well, Its been a long time since i wrote my last post. Holidays for the kids are meant to keep the parents busy. And in addition to this the year ending finalisation too had taken the toll. Keeping my hands full.
My current biggest threat is TV. Whatever methods i adopt , iam unable to control him against watching TV. I have tried giving him paintings and crayons and other toys. How much ever i indulge him it hardly comes to 2 - 3 hrs and rest of the time he is into watching TV. In the evenings again after playing with his friend for 2 hrs again the same routine.
Naane avana TV paarka vidama irukkanumnu kashta pattundu iruntha ennoda aathukarar samatha poi avanukku oru TV video game vangi kuduthittar. Ahem!!!! Innum kekkanumaa ... Avvalavuthaan Pogo maathina chutti TV atha maathina Video games appadinnu TV ye gathiya irukkan.
Planning to put him from May in summer camp and some dance class. But again oru threat for my plan. Since he has adenoids, doctor has advised to go for a minor surgery for him. It has to scheduled in May. The very idea gives me jitters. Avanukku vaccination pottale enakku kanla thanni vanthurum. Athuvum enga paatti kekkave vendaam. En paiyanukku ethavathu illness na avanga one week paduthuruvaanga . So rendu peraiyum eppadi manage panrathunnu theiryala.Keeping my fingers crossed cos doctor said he would decide after seeing the x-ray. We should go and see him tomorrow again.And moreover, if i have to do this surgery i should keep him in rest at least for a week i suppose. Then i cannot put him in all these classes. So again after the surgery same old routine.

Enna panrathunne theriyala, paarkalaaam.....

Kiddie talks -II

Of late, my son is totally inclined to going out on vacation.
He would say " Amma, namba oorukku pogalaam. Poittu thirumba varave vendam. Van attender, Mam ellarum nalla thedattum.Oorlaye namba irukkalam"
Last week took him to a marriage to kancheepuram and he was so excited on the concept of going to a far-away place. Though we take him out every Sunday he still wants to go on a vacation. To be specific, oorukku. A word which was taught by his friend in van who often puts leave to school. It took me nearly a month to re-inforce in him that going to school is fun which he always enjoyed right from his play school days.
I didn't face the problem of leaving my child crying on the first day of his school' He never cried,but thoroughly enjoyed the company of children. In fact when i was to send him in van to his present school, I was more mortified than him. First day we went and dropped him and while returning i came along with him in van. Second day, when i insisted on going along with him to school he refused saying, "Amma, small children thaan school vanla pogalam, parents ellam varakkoodathu." So, I stood in the street waving till the van went out of sight.
He is sociable but sensitive. He makes friends easily. He would always introduce himself to the other child and ask his name. " Ennoda peru xxx un per enna" Then iam studying L.K.G which class r u studying. And this would go on.
Last time we took him out was to thrissur but he was not able to fully appreciate since he was only 3.5yrs.
Looks like my vacation plans are going to be a big dhamakha, pun intended. My aathukarar has enrolled for variety of exams. Athuvum naan plan panna May 1st weekthaan. Hmmm , lets hope for the best.

Strange Specimen

Its been a long time since I wrote my last post. Well, I was not handcuffed or sinking with loads of work but simply coulnt put my thoughts into coherent writing. It was so much cramped with various issues and combined with my ill-health. Now-a-days i feel literally bored and want to cut off from the day-to-day activities.
Hmm, other way of saying that i want to go on a holiday. Okay now people might wonder wats this strange specimen concept where the thoughts are so human.
The underlying thing is i feel and want to go out more with my brother-in-law and co-sis than the relatives on my mothers side. Isnt strange when all the women folks would only enjoy going with their side of relatives.
Is this because my aathukarar is completely at home with his brother or my kid enjoys the outings with his cousin who is jus 1 yr elder to him. Though the common topic between the co-sisters(i.e me) revolves only around the kids - school , classes, curriculum, extra-curricular activities and food habits etc. Cause i dread going into family politics. So i choose my words carefully. Inspite of these traits i love going out with them. I even dont count the expenditure. (i love spending for others rather calculating - i hate to even spend a penny who rather wish i wud spend)
Am I sounding more like the Ektha serial ladies who do all sacrifice to see their beloved happy. I dont know.
And when iam looking for the summer trip plans i have already started including them in my plans without even consulting them. Do not know whether we would proceed together or its jus we 3 holiday. Any way looking forward for a nice holiday. Keeping my fingers crossed

A change in me

Today seeing myself from a distance i was able to see a different persona altogether. Is this change attributable to post-marriage or the maturity that comes with age or mere selfishness? Iam yet to figure out.
I grew up in a joint family system with lots of uncles who happens to be the brothers of my mother. Since my mother was the only daughter after her death i became the treasure of my grand-parents. So, more than the care i grew up with lots of sympathy. Acho paavam intha kozhantha, i was hardly 2.5 yrs. So was totally pampered and would always poke my nose into everything. Only in my teens did i actually realise my position. It was only during that age i missed my parents. Haven't called my father as father even once. He is settled with his own family .Though i don't regret this , i missed having a fatherly figure around. I used to wonder how horrible it is to forget ur own child what may be ever ur problems be. Even now my aathukarar cannot stay at a stretch of 2 days without seeing my kid.
Fine, now comin to the topic , i used to give comments and suggestions and even discuss during pre-marriage times about people in our family. I used to think myself as the saviour and the solutions have to be put forth only by the rational thinker which is obviously me.
Due to this attitude, i got and saved most of their hatred and their swearing.
But now-a-days even when my grandmother or any of the members of the family complaint about the things i keep mum or altogether avoid the topic and conveniently shift their attention. Is that because i don't want to interfere or feel matured or feel selfish and don't want to take the burden of their problems.
And more importantly, how ever independent you are, we are supposed to maintain the distance from your family and even the words which we speak have lots of bearings on your husband. Its irrespective of love/arranged marriage.
Before marriage the girls family is always been cared , but once you get married the guy hold the authority.
Or is it just my case,. Or is it my thinking. Iam not clear.
Enakke theriyuthu naan bayangaramaa olari irukkennnu.
Just wrote whatever things came to my mind.

P.s. If u r looking for entertaining post, this is just not for you.

Kiddie talks - I

Yesterday we went to the reception of my aathukarar's cousin. On the way the talk between the father and son goes as follows:

A : Innaikku ennoda thangaioda kalyanam daa

S : Kalyanama? unakku eppo paa?

A : Hmm. Athu eppavo enakku aayiduchudaa

S : mm starts whining... Enakku innum aagaliyeeeeee. Unakku matttumm en aachu... starts crying...(He always goes head to head on all things with his father)